The Power of Negotiation, Why Women Need to Ask for What They Want

Once upon a time this was my life; 3 school aged children, a baby, a husband who believed in the Ozzie and Harriet lifestyle, (except for the part where Harriet doesn't work), and a full time stressful 12 hour shift job.

Wait, there's more!

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Did you know that the mean someone thinks at least 50,000 thoughts every day? That means I'm cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, shopping, dropping the kids off, picking them up, attending school functions and meetings, working, And having at least 50,000 thoughts running around in my head!!

Wait, there's more!

I want to be victorious in my career, so I read Success Books, written by victorious citizen on how to be successful. There is one common theme running through all these books... And that theme is 'focus'. Not just focus, but focus on one goal, on... Just....one...thing!
Are you Kidding me????

Wait there's more!

Men Do It!

Men can go into work early, stay late, focusing on that one project, that one goal. They can stay in their office with the door accomplished and not socialize with their coworkers. This behaviour gets them a pat on the back from their colleagues, admiration from coworkers who admire their determination and drive, and their boss makes a reasoning note to watch for opportunities for this 'go getter'. Men can tune all things else out but that one thing they're focused on.

And they get rewarded for this behaviour! Promotions, pay raises, perks!

If a woman were to behave this way in the workforce... It would mean... Career... Suicide!!

A woman who comes in early and stays late? She must whether have issue at home or a exiguous somethin' somethin' going on at work. If she works through her lunches, buries herself in her work and doesn't socialize with others, her coworkers think she has an attitude, she thinks she's good than everyone, "Yep, you'd good watch your back with that one!" And the boss? He thinks that she must not have a clue what she's doing and needs that extra time just to catch up!

What actions are admired in a man can be criticized in a woman.

We have come a long way, but we still have a long way to go!

Some of you may have heard about the 1970's. That era liberated women. We took operate over our bodies, and our lives. We could now have careers, not just jobs. We could climb the ladder to success right along side of the men!

By the time we reached the 80's, reality hit. Our first priority was still our family, our careers came second. We could 'play' at being a occupation Women, but not at the cost of our family.

Because of this dual role, by the 90's, a lot of us suffered from what I like to call Control-Freak-Martyritis. It's a nasty disease that altered our reasoning to believe the only way to accomplish both a personal life and a occupation was to 'do it all', be loving, caring and nurturing at home, and be the driven, tenacious bull dog at work. We had to be the best in both worlds.

To accomplish this, we created...

Supermom! - The fastest cook, cleaner, caretaker, Corporate executive In the world! We juggled babies, board meetings, T-ball, travel, read bedtime stories to our children, and remained 'womanly' for our man!

We had to fight the Glass Ceiling, the Sticky Floor, The Old Boys Club, and all the stereotypes that came with a woman wanting to make a place for herself in the corporate world.

We dove into the Corporate World playing by the only rules we had to go by... The men's rules. We didn't have a set of our own. We went through the 'talk like a man, ride like a man and spit like a man' syndrome. We concept we had to act like a man, to follow like a man.

And how did the men react? Let's just say "They were not amused!" In fact some Corporations spent thousands of dollars sending their women Executives to be re-trained, to 'tone it down', and demanded they behave 'nicely'. One enterprising woman, named Jean Holland, started a enterprise called 'Bully Broads', that charged ,000 per someone to 'reprogram' women Executives and get them to act like a lady, like the men thinkable, them to act. (By the way, her enterprise is Still victorious today!)

The "b" word was thrown around like rice at a wedding.

Women found themselves working twice as hard to get half as far up the Corporate ladder. And they lost their core values. They could not be themselves, use their skills and talents in a way that was comfortable and efficient for them. Women did succeed, but they lost a part of who they for real were in order to get where they wanted to go.

Guess what? When it is all said and done... 30 and even 40 years later, most women Still make less than men, we are promoted less, and earn deserved recognition less than men. Those top level positions are Still out of our reach.

We need a weapon. Something that will allow us to be true to our core values, something that will help us gain those illusive top-level positions, and allow us to use our leadership skills that community and the workforce so desperately needs.

We have one.

That weapon is called Negotiation.

Women need to learn to Self Promote, to ask for what they want; to stand up, speak up, and go for their dreams!

The Power of Negotiation, Why Women Need to Ask for What They Want

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